


they don't love me like you do

by JulietInConverse



Category: The Prom (2020)
Genre: F/F, a 5 + 1 type thing, im just gay and sad, promise ring fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28228035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulietInConverse/pseuds/JulietInConverse
Summary: Alyssa Greene showing Emma Nolan how much she cares about her over the course of their relationship.
Relationships: Alyssa Greene/Emma Nolan
Comments: 68
Kudos: 168





	1. Chemistry Partners

**Author's Note:**

> first fic that im posting for this fandom (also the first fic ive posted in,,, years) so i hope you guys like it!

“Okay, so we’ll be splitting off into partners for this experiment.” Mr Anderson’s voice rang out, breaking Alyssa’s train of thought. Chemistry really wasn’t her strongest subject so she should be focusing but there was something distracting her.

Well, someone.

Emma Nolan sat to her right in class, separated by the walkway between their desks. Alyssa hadn’t ever really held a conversation with Emma, not that she knew why. Emma appeared approachable, her almost cheerful demeanour was a surprise to Alyssa, as she was often the target of the bullies at James Madison, mostly due to their suspicions of her being a lesbian. Of course, this was based only on the stereotypes that these bullies believed were true. If it were actually based on fact, Alyssa herself would be targeted. 

Feeling her attention drift once more, she sighed, shaking herself out of it. She couldn’t afford to keep her current grade in Chemistry, not as long as her mother had anything to say about it. While a C was still a passing grade, her mother expected straight As in all subjects, as well as Alyssa retaining her position as head cheerleader and head of the debate club. Shuffling through her papers, she heard one of the jocks stir from the desks behind her.

“Hey, look. No one’s partnering with Nolan.” He scoffed.

“Probably because no one wants to go near a lesbo.” Another student jeered in response.  


A few chuckles emanated from the back of the classroom, and Alyssa turned her gaze to Emma, watching her posture stiffen before she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and relaxed again. It amazed her that Emma was able to cope with such terrible treatment from those around her and still seem so optimistic. 

“Wanna partner up, Alyssa?” Shelby asked from in front of her, turning around in her seat. 

“Oh, uh - “ She glanced back at Emma briefly, hoping Shelby didn’t notice. “I think Kaylee still needs a partner, so you should probably go partner up with her before she chooses Nick. Then neither of them will get any work done.”

For a small moment, Shelby didn’t respond, but then she laughed, murmuring agreement before calling across the classroom to Kaylee, who very quickly agreed to partner up, rushing over to join Shelby at her desk, wanting to avoid having to work with Emma, who sat beside her. Alyssa decided to wait a moment before taking Kaylee’s old seat next to Emma. After the other girl didn’t initiate any conversation, whether general or about the work, Alyssa cleared her throat, causing Emma to jump slightly. If Alyssa didn’t feel bad about scaring her, she would have found it endearing.

“Uh… hi?” Emma greeted, though it sounded more like a question.

Alyssa smiled shyly. “Hi. Um, is it alright if we partner up?”

Emma’s features contorted in confusion, as if she didn’t understand why Alyssa would want to work with her. “Oh! Sure, I guess.” A beat of awkward silence passed.

“I should probably apologise in advance.” Alyssa started, and Emma looked at her curiously. “I’m terrible at chemistry.” Emma laughed and Alyssa felt her heart skip a beat at the sound.

“Lucky for you, I am a chemistry master.” 

Less than 5 minutes later, the two girls were staring at the still smouldering remains of the peanut brittle that sat on their desk, eyes wide as the rest of the class turned to face them. 

As Alyssa opened her mouth to explain herself or to ask what had happened, she was interrupted by a fit of giggles. Slowly turning to her right, she watched as Emma’s cheeks tinted red, unable to stop herself from laughing at how spectacularly they had failed their experiment. Alyssa, who had been concerned by how this failure could impact her grade, couldn’t help but laugh too. 

“Alright ladies, go to the restroom and clean up. You can restart when you get back.” Mr Anderson said, not even looking up from his work.

As the two girls left the classroom, they continued to laugh until they had begun to clean the peanut brittle shrapnel from their clothes and, unfortunately, their hair. 

“Chemistry master, huh?” Alyssa prompted, a teasing smile on her face. 

“Whoa, don’t go blaming me for this, Greene!” Emma chuckled. “I’m not the one who mixed the solution.” 

Alyssa shook her head fondly. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Eh, it’s no problem. Would rather fail the experiment with you than have to do all the work myself with Kaylee.” She quipped. Alyssa smiled, a quiet moment passing. “Hey, why didn’t you work with Shelby? I heard her asking you.”

“Oh! Well, I, uh… I wanted to work with you.” Alyssa glanced over, watching as Emma’s face reddened.

“Oh! Oh. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Cool.” Emma stammered out. 

“Cool?” Alyssa smiled shyly, feeling her own face begin to heat up. 

“Yeah.” Emma let out a light laugh.


	2. Graffiti

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: use of homophobic language

"So Kevin kept asking me all these questions and I can’t tell if he actually doesn’t know Spanish or if he’s just trying to make an excuse to talk to me.” Shelby rambled.

“It’s Kevin, so it’s probably both.” Kaylee commented, sending both girls into a bout of laughter. Alyssa, walking ahead of the two as they made their way through the hallways of James Madison, smiled, shaking her head. Tuning out of the conversation again, Alyssa let her thoughts drift.

Ever since their chemistry lesson a few weeks prior, Alyssa had only begun to notice Emma more and more. She had started to make more of an effort to be a friendly face in the hallway that was swarmed with enemies for Emma, rewarded by soft smiles and a twisting feeling in her stomach that she wasn’t quite ready to confront.

Unfortunately, before Alyssa was able to give any more thought to striking up a conversation with the girl who had been occupying her mind, her attention was drawn to a crowd gathering in the hallway. She stopped moving, Shelby and Kaylee almost bumping into her from behind.

“What’s happening?” Kaylee piped up, catching the attention of another cheerleader who lurked at the edge of the crowd.

“Someone graffitied Emma’s locker.” She replied, stifling a laugh. “Not the most original content but still pretty funny.”

Alyssa glanced past the people standing before her, her heart stopping as she saw the ugly scrawl that decorated Emma’s locker. Before looking away, Alyssa caught sight of the words “freak”, “nerd” and “lesbo”. She shook her head, feeling disappointment and disgust course through her veins. She didn’t think it could get worse until she saw Emma herself round the corner. 

“Oh no.” Alyssa’s features contorted in a mixture of sympathy and guilt as she watched Emma approach. The moment Emma’s eyes landed on her locker, Alyssa’s heart shattered in her chest, watching as her expression fell, Emma’s bottom lip quivering before she steeled herself and regained her composure.

“Real funny.” She muttered, putting in her locker combination as the crowd began to disperse, having lost interest rather quickly. Though Shelby and Kaylee continued to walk on, Alyssa paused, watching Emma shove her books into her locker. As if sensing her presence, Emma turned her head slightly, offering a weak smile as she noticed Alyssa stood nearby. “It’s fine.” She whispered, aware of the presence of other students nearby.

Before Alyssa could respond in any way, verbal or otherwise, Shelby called to her. “C’mon Alyssa, we’re gonna be late for cheer practice.” 

“Coming.” Alyssa responded, quickly following their path down the hallway. She turned back briefly, surprised to see Emma watching her go, shooting her a sheepish smile upon making eye contact, which Alyssa warmly reciprocated, hoping to be able to channel every comforting thing she wanted to say into it.

After cheer practice, Alyssa managed to sneak away from Shelby and Kaylee, making up some excuse about her mother calling her home. Similarly, she told her mother that she was going out for milkshakes with the cheer squad. Of course, the girls were actually at some secret party being held at Nick’s house, creating a perfect cover for Alyssa. After changing out of her uniform, she made her way to the custodial closet, asking to borrow a couple of sponges and a bucket. Once she had gotten them, she wandered through the halls before arriving at Emma’s vandalised locker.

Examining the words violently scrawled across the door, Alyssa’s brow furrowed, feeling disgust at the cruel actions of her fellow students. Upon seeing the word “dyke” written multiple times, Alyssa shook her head. Emma didn’t deserve this. Taking a breath, she started to scrub away some of the writing. 

The menial and repetitive task meant it was rather easy for Alyssa’s attention to drift, something that had been happening quite often since the peanut brittle incident. Though she hadn’t really held another proper conversation with Emma after that, the girl was occupying her thoughts more than Alyssa would admit. Dropping the sponge once she was done, Alyssa realised that she had never really made any effort to help Emma before, despite seeing the terrible things she had to deal with.

As a feeling of guilt overtook her, she pulled a scrap piece of paper out of her backpack, scribbling down her phone number. Before she could consider crossing out the small “x” she had signed it with, the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her caused her to jump, letting out a small squeak as she quickly slipped the note through the locker grate. She turned, eyes wide, to see Emma, lips slightly curved at the corners and eyebrow raised.

“Hi Emma!” Alyssa exclaimed rather loudly, wincing upon noticing her volume. Emma suppressed laughter, tilting her head.

“Hi.” Emma gestured to her locker. “You trying to steal my stuff, Greene? Nothing much to take but history textbooks.” She joked, putting Alyssa more at ease. 

“Maybe I’m here for your chemistry notes, Nolan.” She replied, smirking as Emma laughed.

“Really though,” Emma’s voice softened. “What are you doing?” She nodded to the sponge at Alyssa’s feet. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I do!” Alyssa snapped, surprising herself. “I’m…” She steadied herself. “I’m sorry for shouting, but I do need to. It’s not fair on you to have to deal with it yourself.”

Emma studied her for a moment and Alyssa began to panic, feeling as if Emma knew there was more that she had left unsaid. “I appreciate it, Alyssa.” She replied, quietly, smiling shyly at the ground.

Pushed by a sudden boost of confidence, she surged forward, grabbing Emma’s hand. The other girl looked up, shocked, a cute blush on her cheeks (an observation she filed away for later consideration). “I’m serious. If you ever need help, I’m here for you.” Looking into Emma’s blue eyes, Alyssa’s own face began to heat up. Quickly letting go, she cleared her throat. “Anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you earlier. I wish there was something I could do to help.”

“Believe me Alyssa, this,” She tapped her locker door, now clean of any insults. “Is more than anyone else has done.” A comfortable silence washed over them for a moment. “I’m glad I have at least one friend in this school.”

Alyssa couldn’t stop herself from beaming back at her. “Friend?”

“Is that okay?” Emma asked, a nervous tone lacing her voice.

“More than okay.” Alyssa smiled at the girl standing before her, a warm feeling settling in her heart. 

Later, once Alyssa had arrived home and made up some anecdote about Shelby dropping her milkshake on Kaylee accidentally to further convince her mother that she hadn’t lied about her whereabouts, she settled at her desk, focused on shuffling through her notes until her phone pinged next to her. Checking it, she couldn’t repress the smile that made its way onto her face. Attached to a photo of the note, a message from Emma:

 **???** : This you, Greene?

Alyssa typed out a response, quickly saving Emma’s number.

 **Alyssa** : Of course, Nolan.

 **Emma** : How can I be sure it’s you?

Alyssa chuckled, lifting her phone up and taking a quick selfie, sticking her tongue out slightly as she smiled.

 **Alyssa** : Is this proof enough?

 **Emma** : Hm. Dorky enough to be Alyssa, I’ll believe you.

Alyssa shook her head fondly and was about to put her phone down when it pinged again. Her breath caught as the message loaded. A selfie from Emma, her hair up in a messy bun and a pen tucked behind her ear. She looked tired yet still cute, a peace sign thrown up to accompany the charming grin on her face.

 **Emma** : We even now?

 **Alyssa** : You’re adorable. 

A few moments of silence passed, though Emma responded before Alyssa could truly start to panic again.

 **Emma** : I try my hardest <3

 **Emma** : Goodnight Lys x

 **Alyssa** : Goodnight Emma x 

As Alyssa placed her phone down on the desk, she held a hand over her chest, letting out a shaky sigh as she felt her racing heartbeat.


	3. Rejection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for homophobia and mentions of abuse (rather a brief suggestion than anything but still)
> 
> thank you very much to adohug for the nicknames for alyssa and emma and for all their help with the text conversation lol (also for being my beta reader for this whole fic <3) 
> 
> chemistry whiz - emma  
> part time janitor - alyssa

Over the last couple of months, Alyssa and Emma had gotten closer, much to the delight of both girls, though neither would admit it to the other. The two had spent so much time texting, leading to many more late nights for Alyssa (who should have guessed Emma would be a night owl) and many more early mornings for Emma, who never missed an opportunity to make fun of Alyssa’s daily 6am run. One Sunday morning, Alyssa shot Emma a text, knowing the girl would have to be awake to attend the church service anyway. She smiled as she read through the backlog of their messages.

**Chemistry Whiz:** Not to frighten you but I just got a free book thrown at my head by some random kid at school

**Part Time Janitor:** ...Emma?????

**Chemistry Whiz:** Don’t worry, I’ve gotten good at dodging

**Chemistry Whiz:** And hey, free book :3c

**Part Time Janitor:** Ignoring that face but what’s the book?

**Chemistry Whiz:** Unfortunately a Bible but STILL

**Part Time Janitor:** Ever the optimist, aren’t you?

**Chemistry Whiz:** You say that as if it isn’t endearing, Greene

**Part Time Janitor:** So what if it is, Nolan?

The sound of her mother approaching alerted Alyssa to quickly shut her phone off before she could read the rest of the conversation, knowing her mother’s opinions of phones being used during meals. As her mother placed a plate in front of her, Alyssa thought back to the past few months. As time had passed, Alyssa had found herself unable to repress her developing feelings for Emma. Every text made her heart skip a beat, putting a smile on her face no matter how she was feeling beforehand. Despite this, she refused to let herself acknowledge that she was in fact crushing on Emma. For one, her mother would go ballistic. Plus, she didn’t even know if Emma was gay. Every rumour that the student body spread about her was just that: rumours. And most importantly, Emma was the one person Alyssa considered a true friend and she knew that the same could be said for the other girl. It’s not that she didn’t care about Kaylee and Shelby and the other people who considered her a friend, it’s just that she always felt she had to act like someone else around them. While she would never join in when they made snide comments about someone they didn’t like, she did spend all her time with them. Alyssa wished she could spend her lunch with Emma instead. Emma was sweet and funny and kind and just so beautiful -

“Alyssa!” Alyssa’s head shot up, almost falling out of her seat at the table. Her mother examined her with a raised brow. “I’ve been calling you for 10 seconds. Get your head out of the clouds and eat your breakfast.” 

“Sorry mom, just a bit distracted recently.” Alyssa replied, sitting up straight and returning her attention to the plate in front of her. Taking a sip of her apple juice, she listened to her mother drone on about the PTA, offering half-hearted responses while patiently waiting for another text from Emma.

After she had finished her breakfast, excusing herself to go change into her church clothes, a simple yet smart dress that her mother had, of course, picked out herself. Checking her phone once more, she was rather surprised when she saw no new alert from Emma, only various messages from Shelby and Kaylee gushing about their respective boyfriends. Trying to push down the rising feeling of disappointment, Alyssa quickly rushed downstairs to join her mother once more before leaving.

While Alyssa wouldn’t call herself a hugely religious person, there was something she found comforting about the idea of a god, though the god she imagined was far more accepting than the people of Edgewater’s own version. That’s not to say that Alyssa liked attending service every Sunday but Emma was always a welcome distraction during one of the priest’s bigoted rants. Emma and her parents and grandmother sat a few rows ahead of Alyssa and her mother, on the other side of the church. Despite the glares she received from other churchgoers, Emma would often turn her head to catch Alyssa’s gaze before dramatically rolling her eyes, with Alyssa having to stifle a laugh.

Unfortunately today neither Emma nor her grandmother, were anywhere to be seen. The Nolans took their regular seats, leaving Alyssa curious as to where Emma could be. That is until she overheard a nearby conversation, a few parents gossiping as they usually do. The content of the conversation was what caught her attention with Alyssa’s heart dropping as she heard the words “Emma”, “disgrace”, “kicked out” and, much to her further dismay, “dyke”. Alyssa felt herself start to panic, fear overwhelming her as she started to hyperventilate. She didn’t even realise until her mother noticed she hadn’t followed, walking back to her to check on her.

“Alyssa? Are you alright?” Mrs Greene asked, brow furrowed. “You look ill.”

“I -” Alyssa was about to tell her that she was okay until realising her mother had just handed her a perfect excuse to go check on Emma. “I don’t feel well, mom. Can I go home please?” 

Though her mother hesitated, she agreed, telling Alyssa to call her if she needed anything. 

Quickly rushing down the street, Alyssa opened her message chain with Emma once more. 

**Part Time Janitor:** Emma? Are you okay?

She thought for a moment before sending another message.

**Part Time Janitor:** I’m by your side no matter what x

Pocketing her phone, Alyssa continued her journey down the street. Being from a religious town certainly had some benefits as Alyssa could find Emma without being seen and questioned by anyone from school, with all her peers currently being forced to sit through the Sunday service. 

Upon finally arriving at the Nolan residence, Alyssa looked around for Emma’s truck, hoping the girl was still nearby. Apparently she was closer than first expected as Alyssa soon noticed a familiar head of unruly blonde hair faced away from her, leaning against the baby blue truck.

“Emma!” Alyssa exclaimed, rushing towards her. She stopped in her tracks as Emma turned her head, her eyes red and her cheeks painted with tears. “Em…”

“They know, Lys.” Emma choked, arms wrapped around herself as her shoulders shook. “They - they kicked me out.”

“Oh, Emma, I’m so sorry.” Alyssa took a step forward, hesitating as Emma seemed to startle. 

“You don’t need to pretend, Alyssa.” The girl almost seemed to whimper. “If you hate me, that’s fine. I don’t need false hope. So please, if you’re gonna leave,” She held a hand up, almost to ward her away. “Just go now.” 

Taking a breath, Alyssa continued forward until she stood right before Emma. “I meant what I said, Emma. I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to.” She paused. “What do you want me to do, Em?”

“I just - “ Her voice cracked. “Stay with me please, Lys.” 

Alyssa nodded, hesitating for a moment before holding her arms out. Before she could even ask Emma for permission to hug her, Emma had surged forward, burying her head in the crook of Alyssa’s neck as she sobbed. As a few tears escaped Alyssa’s own eyes, she realised that in all her time of knowing Emma, she had never seen her drop her optimistic facade. Despite every part of her wishing that she would never see Emma so broken again, Alyssa had a sinking realisation that Emma being kicked out would make her a much easier target for the bullies in Edgewater. 

After a few minutes, Emma stepped back and Alyssa reached up a hand to brush away a stray tear from Emma’s face, gently stroking her thumb across her cheekbone as the girl began to regain her breath. “We’re gonna get through this, okay? I’m here every step of the way. Now, do you have somewhere to go?”

Emma thought for a moment, sniffling before she responded. “My grandma. She’s the only person in this stupid town who isn’t a bigot.”

Alyssa let out a small laugh. “Not the only person, Em.”

Emma looked up, gratitude and something Alyssa couldn’t quite name in her eyes. “Right.” She inhaled deeply before offering a weak smile. “Should probably pack my stuff before it gets destroyed, huh?” She gestured to the few bags and piles of clothes filling the backseat. “Only need to grab my guitar and laptop. Would you mind helping? I wanna get out of here as quickly as I can.” 

“Of course. Let’s get you away from these assholes, yeah?” Emma laughed, taken by surprise before nodding and letting Alyssa walk her back into the house.

“My laptop’s on the kitchen table, I just need to go get my guitar from my room.” Emma went up a step before pausing and turning around. “Thank you Alyssa. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She continued her path upstairs, leaving Alyssa alone in the hallway.

Though she had never been in Emma’s house before, only having known its location due to the small size of the town, Alyssa was able to wager a guess as to the location of the kitchen. Making her way through the dining room, Alyssa paused upon seeing a rather recent photo of Emma framed on the wall. In the photo, Emma was sitting on the bed of her truck, a huge grin on her face. Must have been from her birthday. She smiled almost bitterly before deciding to take the photo, folding it and shoving it in the pocket she was fortunate enough to have on her dress (maybe she wasn’t so mad at her mother for picking it out after all), leaving the empty frame where she had found it.

As she walked into the kitchen, quickly collecting Emma’s laptop (which was unsurprisingly decorated in various nerdy stickers) and her beanie which had been haphazardly tossed onto the table, she noticed a small book, upturned on the ground. It had no title or author so Alyssa figured it must be a diary. Picking it up, she read the page it was open on. Scrawled in Emma’s messy handwriting was a diary entry. Though Alyssa knew she should mind her own business, her curiosity got the best of her as she quickly scanned the page.

_I never thought I could feel this way about someone. Every time I see her, I feel my heart pound out of my chest. I could never tell her but a part of me still hopes she might feel the same._

Before Alyssa could start to theorise, a realisation hit her. This must have been how Emma’s parents found out. It made sense. It looked like it had been thrown to the floor and, while Alyssa didn’t think that Emma’s parents had ever hit her, she couldn’t be sure. Filled with anger, as well as guilt from invading Emma’s privacy, she left the kitchen with the laptop, book and beanie held in a tight grip under one arm, finding Emma staring at another photo in the hall, though this one was of a young Emma, not older than 3 or 4, held in her parents’ embrace.

“I just don’t get how they can do this.” She sniffled, not looking at Alyssa. “I thought they loved me.”

“They don’t deserve the privilege of loving you, Emma Nolan.” Alyssa placed her hand on Emma’s shoulder. “If they don’t love you for everything from your unruly hair to your unruly heart, they don’t deserve to love you at all.”

Emma turned to face her, eyes shiny with tears, her hair still scruffy but the softest smile Alyssa had ever seen. She had never looked more beautiful. Alyssa smiled back, squeezing her shoulder before loosening the beanie from the small collection of Emma’s things she held.

“I believe this is yours.” She offered it to her dramatically and Emma accepted it with a small smile, placing it over her wavy blonde hair before turning back to Alyssa, who looked at her fondly. She reached forward, adjusting it slightly before leaning back and examining Emma. “Perfect.” 

An almost unnoticeable blush appeared on Emma’s cheeks before she turned around, picking up the guitar case that she had leant against the wall and nodding towards the front door. Alyssa followed, waiting patiently as Emma paused at the entrance of the house. When she finally left, Alyssa stood next to her, studying her features as she slowly closed the door for the final time. 

Emma took a deep breath before looking back at Alyssa. “I’m proud of you, Emma.”

“Don’t know what I did to deserve you, Lys.” Emma replied, accompanied by a soft shake of her head. Rather than respond, feeling as if the girl wasn’t quite up for a lively conversation, Alyssa chuckled and, before she could overthink it, leant forward and placed a soft kiss against Emma’s forehead. She lingered for a moment, hearing Emma sigh shakily and feeling her slightly lean into it as she relaxed, before pulling back and taking Emma’s free hand with her own.

“Let’s get you home, Em.”


	4. Library

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for homophobic language and very very mild violence (cant be too careful)
> 
> as per usual, thank you to adohug for being an angel and being my beta reader

A few weeks had passed since Emma had been kicked out and the two girls were closer than ever. While Alyssa knew that she would be beyond safe if she came out to Emma, she was still scared. Alyssa’s crush had intensified rather quickly, with barely a moment passing without Emma crossing her mind. Though she was yet to be able to visit Emma’s for dinner (after Emma had been kicked out, Alyssa had apparently made quite a lasting impression on her grandmother, who insisted that she visit), she was planning a way to lie to both her friends and mother about her whereabouts for long enough to have dinner with the Nolans.

Noticing that she was getting distracted, Alyssa’s eyes tracked the lines of her textbook, the comfortable quiet of the library provided the perfect ambience for her to study. Just as she felt she was beginning to get the grasp of the work she had been struggling with (Chemistry had become simultaneously easier and harder ever since she befriended Emma), a loud crash followed by a grunt of pain echoed from the back of the library. School had ended a few hours prior, so Alyssa’s curiosity got the better of her as she wandered through the aisles to investigate. 

Another sound of pain, thought it sounded more repressed, as if the source didn’t want it to be heard. 

“C’mon, Nolan. Not gonna fight back?” A male voice taunted, his comment followed by a few snickers. Alyssa felt her heart sink, feeling a mixture of sadness and fear. Another feeling soon joined and Alyssa couldn’t quite place it. As she approached, she realised what it was. 

Anger. Pure anger.

As she rounded the corner, the fury settling deep in her bones, she was greeted by the sight of the same few jocks who had made cruel remarks about Emma in their chemistry lesson, except now their attacks were physical. They stood in Emma’s personal space, snickering as they tripped and pushed her while she walked. 

“We know you’re a dyke.” One chortled, pushing her rather aggressively. 

“Hey!” Alyssa found herself speaking before she could think. Their heads all turned to face her, a hydra-like fusion of douchebags and assholes. Emma’s eyes frantically met hers, though her face betrayed no other emotion. ‘Always putting up the same mask of stability.’ Alyssa thought, though she filed that away for later, turning her attention back to the bullies. “Back away from her.”

“You’re not standing up for this fag, are you?” Another chimed from behind Emma. Alyssa clenched her jaw. 

“Watch your mouth.” She snapped back, her eyes fixing on Nick, who seemed to be leading the unfair assault. “You better back off, Boomer.”

“Yeah? Or what?” He mocked. “Gonna go cry to your mom and the PTA?” The others chuckled behind him. “Wonder if they’d help if they knew you were trying to help a dyke.”

“I’m perfectly capable of handling this myself.” Alyssa growled, stepping forward. “So like I said, back off.” 

Nick appeared to think for a second (a rather shocking notion) before tilting his head to his cronies and walking off. Of course, not every battle is won so easily, as they all made an effort to shove Emma one last time. Once they were gone, Alyssa let out a deep breath, hearing Emma do the same. As she turned to ask how she was, Alyssa’s voice caught in her throat. 

“Emma, your head is bleeding!” She rushed forward, lifting Emma’s face with her hands, gently turning her head to examine the graze across her cheek. Brushing a thumb below the cut, Alyssa winced, before noticing how red Emma’s cheeks were. “Are you -“ She turned her eyes to meet Emma’s, only to lose her voice once more. Blue eyes were already gazing at her softly, almost in disbelief. “Okay…?” Alyssa continued, barely getting the word out as she noticed their close proximity. 

“Yeah, I’m - I’m fine.” Emma took a deep breath, a small smile on her face. Alyssa couldn’t help it as her gaze went downwards, following the movements of Emma’s soft lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss her as she spoke. 

As she spoke. 

Alyssa was broken out of her stupor as she realised that she hadn’t been listening to a word Emma was saying and, given the sudden silence, Emma had probably noticed. She lifted her eyes back up to meet Emma’s, greeted by the sight of Emma’s own eyes lingering down. 

“Lys…?” Emma whispered, her throat bobbing as she swallowed nervously. Their eyes met once more, Alyssa leaning forward before hesitating, allowing Emma to close the distance. Emma’s lips gently pressed against hers, the feeling sending sparks through both girls. It was tentative, the two shyly avoiding the other’s gaze as they separated. Alyssa’s hand, still resting against Emma’s cheek, moved to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, the other holding the lapel of her jacket. A few moments of silence passed, Emma’s hands finding rest on Alyssa’s hips, lightly pulling her closer. Their noses bumped as Emma rested her forehead against Alyssa’s, whose breath hitched at the action. “Would it be too bold if I assumed you like me back?” 

Alyssa giggled, leaning back in order to examine Emma’s face. A sheepish smile graced her features, joined by a soft blush. “No, I think it’s just bold enough.” She beamed, carding her fingers through Emma’s messy hair, controlled only by the beanie that seemed to be permanently attached to her head. 

“Could I…” She paused. “Could I kiss you again, Alyssa?” Rather than answering, Alyssa leant forward again, without hesitation this time. While their first kiss had been bashful and brief, the two girls seemed to relax into each other as their lips met the second time, feeling comfortable and safe from the outside world as they held their embrace, separating only once they had to. Resting her head against her shoulder, Alyssa sighed contentedly.

“I - I can’t tell people. Especially not my mother. I just -” Alyssa leant back, taking Emma’s hands in her own. “I really like you, Emma Nolan.” Emma smiled, though she winced as if she knew what Alyssa was about to say. “But I can’t. I want to -”

“Wanting to is enough, Alyssa. You should be allowed to be happy too.” She took a breath. “If you need to hide, that’s okay. It doesn’t make you any less deserving of love.”

“You’re so good, Emma.” Alyssa tilted her head, smiling as Emma began to stammer out a response, flustered. “But I couldn’t force you to hide this part of yourself again. It’s just not fair.”

“Alyssa, you wouldn’t be forcing me to do anything.” A beat. “You’re worth the wait.” As Alyssa began to protest, her gaze on the ground as she started to pull away, Emma loosened a hand, using a finger to tilt Alyssa’s chin up. “Alyssa. I mean it. I’d wait however long you need me to.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“There’s only one thing I’m sure about.” She grinned. Just as they both began to lean in once more, Alyssa’s phone buzzed in her pocket. Checking it and seeing a text from her mother, Alyssa sighed. Sensing a shift in her mood, Emma spoke up once more. “You have to go?”

“Unfortunately yes.” She squeezed Emma’s hand once more, though before she could let go, Emma raised her hand, placing a gentle kiss against her knuckles, eliciting a small laugh from her. “Ever the gentlewoman, Nolan. I hope you’re not treating all the girls like this.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Greene.” She smiled, letting her go. “Until next time.” She walked away, turning to face Alyssa once more before closing the library door behind her.

As Alyssa gathered her things to leave, she couldn’t stop her heart from racing in her chest nor could she suppress the smile that didn’t leave her face until she had fallen asleep that night, phone clutched in her hand as Emma had wished sweet dreams upon her.


	5. Sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a big thank you to adohug for being my beta reader and helping me w greenelan's dorky conversations
> 
> i also hope everyone had a good christmas or just a good day if you don't celebrate! 
> 
> and lil sappy note, just wanted to say thank you to everyone who leaves kudos or comments! its so sweet and i appreciate it so much ;v;

Though it had only been a couple of months since the start of Emma and Alyssa’s budding relationship, they were both more happy than they had ever been before. It wasn’t perfect, the two often struggling to cope with their inability to spend time together but they got through it all with sly glances across classrooms and stolen moments under the bleachers.

That day, Alyssa had managed to figure out a way to stay out after school without questions from her mother, thanks to cheerleading practice being cancelled and an excuse about her and Kaylee staying the night at Shelby’s (whose parents were fortunately out of town), so she and Emma had made a plan to take her truck and sneak out to Flint Lake, having a picnic under the stars until returning to her house and watching crappy movies until they fell asleep. 

That was what Alyssa was looking forward to as she walked into chemistry, only to see Kaylee sat next to Shelby, the girls whispering to each other and giggling, clearly off in their own world until Alyssa walked over.

“Hey Alyssa!” Kaylee started, a sugary sweet smile on her face accompanied by what Alyssa could only describe as puppy eyes. “So I didn’t wanna sit next to Emma anymore and Shelby and I figured that you wouldn’t mind sitting next to her instead since you usually have to partner with her anyway so- “

Alyssa raised her hand, signalling for Kaylee to stop rambling. “It’s fine, Kaylee. I don’t mind.” Turning away, she chose to ignore the comments that followed about ‘being careful around the lesbo’. 

Swiftly taking her seat at her new desk, Alyssa had to force down her excitement as she anxiously awaited Emma’s arrival. Even though they would still have to hide, this offered the perfect excuse for Alyssa to talk to Emma in front of people, just giving them one less place that they had to hide. However, her excitement was distilled when Emma hadn’t arrived in class, even after the bell had rung.

Once Mr Anderson had finally stopped talking, fortunately only 5 minutes into the lesson as opposed to the usual 10 reserved for rambling, sending them off to do their work, Alyssa took her phone out under her desk. Just as she was about to send Emma a text asking where she was, the girl in question burst through the door. Now, Alyssa usually thought Emma was the most beautiful person she had ever seen. However, even as her girlfriend, there was no way she could lie and say Emma didn’t look like complete death.

As if it wasn’t already blatantly obvious that something was wrong, Emma didn’t even react to Alyssa being sat in what was usually Kaylee’s seat. Mumbling an apology to Mr Anderson, she sat down with tired eyes, almost swaying on the spot as she did.

“Emma!” Alyssa whispered, concern written across her face. “Are you ill?”

Doing a quick double take upon seeing her girlfriend sat next to her, her expression changing from exhaustion to confusion to disbelief until finally settling on the most tired set of heart eyes Alyssa had ever seen. “Hm? No. Not at all. I’m fine.” She offered a weak smile before staring at the work in front of her.

Alyssa found it both fortunate and unfortunate that Emma had fallen ill on a day when she had so much free time. On one hand, a big part of her was disappointed that they wouldn’t be able to go through with their weekend plans, but on the other hand, she was glad that she would be able to keep an eye on Emma herself.

She had to wait 20 minutes for the school parking lot to empty before sneaking out and joining Emma in her truck, parked out of the line of sight of any remaining students. Closing the door, Alyssa turned to Emma, who stared at the wheel, her brow furrowed.

“Em, are you sure you can drive?” Alyssa tilted her head, worried.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, it’s only a few minutes away.” Emma mumbled, taking a deep breath.

“Be careful, baby, I don’t want you to get hurt.” Alyssa replied softly, stroking Emma’s cheek before turning to clip her seatbelt in, missing the small smile that the pet name was able to bring out on Emma’s face.

After pulling into the driveway, Alyssa quickly climbed out of the car, offering her hand to Emma. As if she had sensed something was wrong, Emma’s grandma Betsy already waited at the door for the two girls to walk over.

“Oh, my poor girl.” She lifted her hand against Emma’s forehead. “Okay, get inside and get comfortable, I’ll make you some soup.” Betsy turned to Alyssa. “Would you like me to drop you home, dear?”

“Oh, no, that’s alright, Mrs Nolan. I was hoping I could stay to help look after Emma.” Alyssa glanced at the girl next to her, gently squeezing her hand. Betsy regarded her for a quiet moment before gesturing for the two to go indoors, a twinkle in her eyes.

The afternoon flew by, Alyssa never letting go of Emma’s hand as they curled up in her room. The couple had gotten so lost in conversation that they barely noticed the darkening sky outside. Emma’s temperature was still a bit high but she was feeling a lot better. Maybe it was the painkillers or maybe it was Betsy’s homemade soup or maybe it was the comfort and safety provided by Alyssa’s embrace as she held a damp washcloth to her head while they leaned against the bed frame.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Em, I just don’t get it.” Alyssa said defensively, though there was no seriousness in her tone.

“What don’t you get, Alyssa? It’s _Anna Kendrick_!” Emma argued, disbelief written across her features.

“Eh…” Alyssa trailed off, smirking slightly as Emma shook her head in mock disappointment.

“Are you homophobic?”

“I- “ Alyssa paused. “Emma, we’re dating?”

Emma turned her head, squinting at Alyssa. “You’re dodging the question, Greene.”

Shaking her head with a smile on her face, Alyssa responded, “You are impossible.” Emma proved unable to hold up her angry facade and grinned before scooching closer to Alyssa, who lifted her arm to allow Emma to cuddle up to her.

“Okay, okay!” She pauses, thinking. “Izzy McCalla?”

Alyssa scrunched up her face in confusion as she took the washcloth away from Emma’s forehead, placing it on the bedside tale. “Don’t believe I know her.”

“My God, Alyssa, you need to start listening to musicals or I may break up with you.” Emma joked, drawing a small scoff from her girlfriend. “Alright, who are your celebrity crushes?”

“Ruby Rose.” She replied absentmindedly, starting to card her now free hand’s fingers through Emma’s hair. “Also, Girl in Red.”

“One, I’m kinda proud you know who Girl in Red is. Two, you are such a stereotype.” Emma chuckled.

“Well, I don’t know, we’re talking _celebrity_ crushes. I can’t just say you, as much as I want to.” Alyssa failed to suppress her laughter as Emma buried her face in the crook of her neck to hide her reddening face. “Oh my God, you are adorable.” She grinned as she placed a kiss on the top of Emma’s head.

Looking back up at Alyssa, Emma just smiled softly, cheeks still pink. She still looked tired but was clearly feeling a lot better, much to Alyssa’s relief. 

“Thank you for taking care of me. I’m sorry we couldn’t go on our date today, I know you were looking forward to it.”

“Don’t worry about it, Em.” Alyssa fiddled with Emma’s hand. “I love spending time with you, whether it’s blowing up peanut brittle, watching dumb movies or… meeting under the bleachers.” Whispering the last part almost conspiratorially before winking, Alyssa was delighted as the blush on Emma’s face deepened once more. 

A moment of silence passed as Emma shuffled so her body lay half slanted across Alyssa’s own, less a few inches separating them. Blue eyes gazed into brown before Emma leant forward, placing a kiss on Alyssa’s jaw. She sighed happily once Emma had pulled away, a nervous smile on her face.

“Lys, I love- “ She cleared her throat before continuing. “I love spending time with you too.” She smiled once more, though it seemed more strained.

“I would hope so, baby.” Alyssa laughed, oblivious to whatever had just happened with Emma.

The response offered ample distraction as Emma raised an eyebrow, a cheeky and rather flirtatious grin on her face. “Baby?” She repeated.

Now Alyssa was the one who flustered, stammering as she replied. “I mean, if that’s okay with you! If you don't want me to, I won’t- Oh jeez, I- “

“Lys?” Emma called, snapping the girl out of her rambling spiral, an innocent smile on her face. “What’s the problem, baby?” 

Alyssa exhaled, relaxing again. “Nothing, Em.” The two girls smiled at each other. Just as Emma leant in, Alyssa used her free hand to place a finger on the girl’s lips. As a confused look settled on Emma’s face (a very cute look, she noted), Alyssa laughed in response. “No way, Nolan. I’m withholding proper kisses til you’re not contagious anymore.”

Emma whined, shoulders slumping as Alyssa moved her hand to cup Emma’s cheek instead. “It was just a migraine or whatever! That’s not contagious!” 

“Hm…” Alyssa pretended to think for a moment, barely stifling a giggle as Emma continued to protest. “Nah. No proof. No proper kisses until you’re all better!”

Emma sighed, resigned, until Alyssa caught a glimpse of a rather mischievous look in her eyes. “Fine. I’ll just make do with improper kisses.” She turned her head to place a kiss on Alyssa’s palm before leaning forward and planting kisses all over Alyssa’s face, hands moving to tickle the girl’s sides as they both giggled. Before long, the two had curled up under the blanket, cuddling again as they settled for the night, sharing whispered goodnights and a chaste kiss as they fell into a comfortable sleep, smiles on their faces.

A couple of weeks later, Alyssa supposes she shouldn’t be surprised when, once they finally have their picnic under the stars, Emma finally plucks up the courage to tell her she loves her. With the way Emma had looked at her like she herself had hung the moon and the stars, it would have been impossible for her not to say it back.


	6. Prom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> regular thank you to adohug for being my beta reader

By the beginning of their senior year, Alyssa had been so preoccupied with debate club, student council, cheer practice, sending off college applications and finding ways to spend time with Emma, that she had completely forgotten about prom. It wasn’t until her mother mentioned it over dinner that she even remembered.

“So, you and the prom committee will be starting to plan soon.” Her mother prompted during a particularly awkward lull in dinner. Alyssa nodded, picking up her glass to take a sip of water. “Got a date yet?” She smirked when Alyssa faltered in her movements, though it was not for the reason that her mother thought.

“No. Uh…” Alyssa paused, an odd sense of bravery passing over her. “Not yet.” She hoped her mother would make some comment and then let it go, perhaps complaining about the other PTA members again.

She did not let it go.

“Alyssa! Do tell!” Her mother’s eyes widened, an excited smile on her face. “Who is it?”

“Who is what?”

“Oh, come on, Alyssa! You’ve clearly got your eye on someone!” She laughed. “Now, what’s he like?”

Alyssa paused again, wondering if she could still get out of this. “Well, mom, um…” She looked up, seeing an expectant and excited look in her mother’s eyes. Screw it. “Wonderful. And kind and sweet, but I… don’t know if we’ll be going to prom together though. I haven’t been asked.”

“Don’t be silly, Alyssa! Any boy would be lucky to have you!” Her mother started off on another rant about prom dresses and Alyssa found herself lost in thought.

Would Emma want to go to prom? The thought really hadn’t crossed her mind, she didn’t particularly want to go herself since it was unlikely that Emma would willingly spend time in a poorly decorated gym full of people who had made her high school life a living hell. Filing that thought away for later, Alyssa spent the rest of the night failing to repress daydreams of dancing with Emma under soft light, blocking out the rest of the world as they swayed in each others’ embrace. Maybe in a perfect world, Alyssa would be able to do that and would be able to place a delicate kiss on Emma’s lips without fear of those around her. But Alyssa didn’t live in a perfect world.

“Hey Shelbs, I know it’s a while away but has Kevin asked you to prom yet?” Alyssa asked during lunch the next day.

Shelby’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “How do you know we’re dating?” She turned to Kaylee. “I only told you!”

“Who proceeded to tell everyone else.” Alyssa laughed. 

“You should have known better, to be honest.” Kaylee admitted sheepishly. The three girls started to laugh as Shelby shook her head, a grin on her face. “You better make this prom awesome, Alyssa!” 

Just as Alyssa was about to respond, the smile was wiped off of her face as she watched Emma enter the cafeteria, only to be barged out of the way by a passing group of students. Alyssa felt an uncomfortable mixture of anger and fear settle in her stomach as the realisation that there was no way she could defend Emma right now, or ever, without facing questioning from everyone else. 

“How do you guys wanna be asked?” Alyssa asked, curiosity laced into her tone.

The two thought for a moment.

“I’d be happy with a nice quiet promposal. Just me and Nick.” Kaylee answered almost smarmily.

“Yeah right!” Shelby laughs. “We both know you want something flashy!” As Kaylee conceded, laughing, Alyssa found herself lost in her perfect world again. Thoughts of Emma dorkily singing her a promposal song in the halls as they were cheered on by the students around them were swiftly replaced by thoughts of a slow dance in the moonlight, Emma’s arms winded around Alyssa’s waist while Alyssa rested her head into the crook of Emma’s neck, feeling the subtle vibration reverberating through her chest as she hummed, the sound acting as the lone accompaniment to their moment alone under the stars.

Maybe she would ask Emma.

If she asked Emma, Emma wouldn’t have to deal with shit from other people alone anymore. Alyssa could help her. They wouldn’t have to hide anymore.

Maybe she should ask. 

“Oh, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you today.” Emma practically lifted Alyssa off the ground as soon as she arrived under the bleachers, pressing kisses into her hair as the girl squealed in delight. 

“I saw you this morning, you dork!” Alyssa laughed once her feet were fully planted back on the ground. “It’s been 5 hours at most!”

“5 hours too long, Lys.” Emma joked, though it was clear she did mean it. Knowing how much Emma missed her, how much faith and trust and love she felt for her, only made Alyssa more sure of her next words.

“Em, I have a question…” Alyssa started, rather nervously.

Cocking her eyebrow, Emma replied, “You have the floor, Greene.”

“So, I was talking to Kaylee and Shelby earlier.”

“Uh huh.”

“We were talking about prom.”

A beat. 

“Right…?” Emma didn’t seem to catch the hint. While Alyssa may have been grateful for her girlfriend’s obliviousness when she thought she had an unrequited crush, now that they were together, part of her did wish that Emma would be able to figure it out. The other part of her still fawned over the adorable way Emma’s nose scrunched up when she was confused.

“Talking about going to prom and, well, everyone seems… really excited to go.”

Emma laughed, still blatantly clueless. “Yeah, they do. One last hurrah before college.”

“Do…” Alyssa hesitated, changing her course of action at the last moment. “Are you excited?”

“Hm?” Emma seemed mildly surprised. “Oh, well, I… didn’t really plan on going.” Alyssa imagines her disappointment must have been visible as Emma quickly rushed to continue. “I mean, I’m sure you’re gonna do a great job planning it but I don’t really want to accidentally out you by, like…” She exhaled. “I know for a fact that I won’t be able to take my eyes off of you. I can barely do it now.”

Alyssa smiled at the answer, though it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Okay, you have full permission to say no but,” Alyssa looked into Emma’s eyes before asking the question she had been so nervous to ask. “What if I came out at prom?”

“Alyssa, I- “

“If I come out at prom, we- we can dance together! Just you and me! In front of everyone!” Alyssa prompted, trying to force an optimistic tone into her voice.

“In front of everyone?” Emma asked, eyes dropping to the ground.

“Everyone.”

“Including the PTA?” She looked back up, worry in her eyes.

“Emma…” Alyssa started.

“Alyssa, you have seen everything I deal with. If you’re ready to come out, then that’s amazing. But please,” Emma grasped Alyssa’s hands. “Be smart about it. You don’t know how your mother will react.”

“She’ll come around in time, Emma!” Alyssa argued.

“You don’t know that, Alyssa!” Emma’s voice raised slightly, though it cracked as it did. “I thought my parents would come around and they never did! I thought maybe, maybe I could tell them and it would be okay. I didn’t even get to tell them myself, I didn’t even get to confirm it to them and they kicked me out. Even the thought of me being gay made them hate me. You- “ She inhaled shakily. “Don’t do that to yourself please.”

“Baby,” Alyssa reached her hand up to stroke Emma’s cheek. “We’ll be leaving for college less than 3 months after prom. I can deal with the consequences for that long until we’re out of this shitty town. I want to come out and be with you. Not hide anymore.”

“I can’t let you risk everything for me!” Emma stepped back, tears forming in her eyes.

Alyssa felt a sharp pain in her heart at the sight, her own vision starting to blur. “Can’t or won’t?”

“You already know my answer, Lys. Please. I want that as much as you but I’m not worth it.” 

Alyssa didn’t know that four words could hurt her so much. How could Emma think she wasn’t worth it? Emma was worth everything. 

“Em…” Alyssa reached out, her voice soft.

“I’m gonna go.” She replied shakily. 

“Okay.” Alyssa replied dejectedly. “Bye.” Her shoulders slumped, the pain of being unable to comfort Emma weighing down on her.

Emma had taken one step away before she turned back and quickly pulled Alyssa into her arms, holding her as if she was scared someone would take her away. A part of Alyssa realised that that was probably true. “I love you, Alyssa Greene.” Placing a soft kiss to Alyssa’s temple, Emma turned back around, walking out from the bleachers.

“I love you, Emma Nolan.” 

In that moment, Alyssa knew she had to show Emma just how much she mattered to her, even if it meant telling her everyday for the rest of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my original plan for this chapter was this:
> 
> Some gay shit  
> “No gay shit >:((((“ emma said “its not good for u :(((“  
> “But am gay for u” alyssa argued “and u gay”  
> “Ah shit u right” emma laughed and passed out  
> The end
> 
> so yes im a serious writer


	7. Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one last thank you to adohug for bonking my messages when i wont sleep and for helping me make this as gay as possible

The conversation from the night before played on Alyssa’s mind. If Emma didn’t want to go to prom, that was fine. Of course, Alyssa was disappointed but she would never want to force Emma to go. But if she didn’t want to go solely because she thought she wasn’t worth the risk, then it was not fine. It was far from fine.

The year and a half that Emma and Alyssa had been dating and the 6 months before that that they had spent dancing around their feelings was the happiest time of her life. The struggles and the arguments and the pain of not being able to shout her love for Emma from the rooftops was all worth it when she saw Emma smile or when she made Emma laugh or when she saw the pure adoration in the girl’s gaze when she looked in her eyes.

Emma was worth every risk and more.

Thankful for her mother working overtime that day, Alyssa resolved to talk this through with Emma. Even if they didn’t go to prom together, Alyssa didn’t think she could live with herself if another day went by without Emma Nolan knowing how loved she was. 

As she marched through the streets, her confidence began to waver. What if Emma didn’t want to talk about it? What if she was mad at Alyssa and this made it worse? What if- 

“Alyssa?” The girl in question spun around, seeing Betsy looking at her curiously. “Where are you off to?”

“I need to talk to Emma.”

“Oh? Nothing bad, I hope.” Betsy squinted at her and Alyssa figured it would be safe to tell her what she wanted to talk to Emma about before Betsy decided to square up to her for hurting her granddaughter.

“I wanna ask her to prom.” Alyssa replied, suddenly rather anxious. “We spoke about it yesterday and I handled it all wrong, I just wanna clear everything up.”

Betsy regarded her for a moment. “Walk with me, Alyssa.” After a brief moment of hesitation, Alyssa began to walk side by side with Betsy, waiting for the older woman to initiate conversation. The silence, not entirely awkward but certainly not comfortable, followed them for a few minutes until they arrived at the local park. Betsy took a seat on a bench, patting the seat next to her for Alyssa to sit down too. “Emma told me about your plan.” Alyssa’s head turned, finding herself becoming more anxious. “I think it’s awfully brave.” 

Alyssa sensed that Betsy still had more to say. “But?” She prompted, only to receive a concerned look from Betsy.

“You need to be careful, dear. You saw how painful coming out was for Emma.” Betsy shook her head. “Come out on your own terms and your own time but be smart about it. God only knows what kind of trouble Emma would get into if she found out people were giving you shit.” She said the last part with a smile on her face, as if it were only a joke, but Alyssa had a feeling that they both knew there was truth to it.

“I just wish I could do something.” Alyssa sighed. “I want to come out for myself, of course. I’m tired of hiding who I am. But seeing Emma have to deal with all the assholes at school alone, excuse my language- “

“Honey, I would have said worse.” Betsy interrupted.

“It just makes me so angry.” Alyssa continued. “Emma is the most important thing in the world to me. I love her so much and it kills me knowing that people don’t know that because she deserves to be loved and loved loudly. I would give her the world if I could.” Though Alyssa had never said any of this before, either out loud or to herself, she knew she meant every word. “I’d spend the rest of my life trying if she let me.” Alyssa admitted before her eyes widened at the implication while Betsy beamed at her.

“You know, Emma’s grandfather was a wonderful man. Worked so hard to look after me while I was pregnant.” She smiled wistfully. “No matter how many hours extra he had to work to pay for a crib or maternity clothes, he was always a gentleman. See, we weren’t married yet, so my son is a bastard in more than one way,” Alyssa laughed, surprised. “And unfortunately that meant a lot of people gave me hell. He never let it get to him when people insulted him but… God, the moment that someone set their sights on me, he would snap. Never violent but that man would defend me until his last breath even though I couldn’t return the favour.”

“Sounds like he was an incredible man.”

“Oh, he was. I miss him dearly. Our Emma is just like him.” Betsy remarked. “And I get the impression you and I are more similar than you think. My Albert was worried he wasn’t enough. Scared that he wasn’t making me as happy as I could be.” She sighed, heartbreak flashing across her face. “I never thought someone could make me as happy as he did, as he still does. I’m starting to think you feel the same about Emma.”

“More than she knows.” Alyssa replied, her voice almost a whisper.

Betsy exhaled, a contemplative look on her face. “So prove that to her.” Betsy lifted her hand, slipping a simple yet beautiful ring from her finger. “My husband couldn’t afford one of those overly fancy engagement rings for me. Didn’t stop me from thinking this was the most beautiful thing I’d ever been given.” She examined the ring, her eyes starting to glisten. “It was about what it represented. Albert gave me this and told me that he would stay by my side no matter what if I would have him. Promised me his constant love and trust and told me that he would rather spend one final day on this earth loving me than a whole lifetime without.” Taking Alyssa’s hand, she placed the band in the girl’s palm. “I’m not telling you to go propose right now, you’re far too young. But that doesn’t mean you can’t show Emma that she is it for you.” She paused. “Assuming that she is?”

“Absolutely.” Alyssa didn’t even hesitate. “I didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.” 

“Then I suppose you know what to do.” Betsy grinned.

Alyssa paced nervously in her room, waiting for her mother to bid her good night. Alyssa had only snuck out a few times, always to go see Emma. Her anxiety was mildly alleviated by the memory of their one year anniversary, sneaking out to see Emma despite the pouring rain. Emma had stifled laughter when Alyssa climbed into her truck, hair and clothes soaking wet, her giggles replaced by sounds of mock anger when Alyssa pulled her into a tight hug. 

A knock on her door almost made Alyssa jump off of the ground, quickly composing herself before responding. “Yes?”

“I’m heading to bed now, Alyssa. I suggest you do the same.” The sound of her mother’s footsteps became more distant until Alyssa heard her door close. Deciding to wait a few minutes, not wanting to risk her mother hearing the sound of her window opening, Alyssa double checked her pockets, making sure that Betsy’s ring was secure and safe in her pocket. 

Once she cracked the window open, she felt a rather cool breeze hit her. Shivering slightly, she turned, grabbing the closest jacket in her wardrobe. The subtle smell of laundry detergent, Emma’s shampoo and something just so utterly _Emma_ washed over her as she put the hoodie on, soothed by the hints of lavender, sage and sandalwood that filled her senses. She could do this. 

She couldn’t do this. Well, she technically could. Alyssa had been so worried that she forgot to figure out what she was going to say but it was too late, as she had already amassed a pile of pebbles at her feet and was chucking them at Emma’s window, hoping to get her attention.

A few pebbles in, Alyssa saw a shadow appear at the window before it was opened, Emma’s head poking out, a surprised look on her face.

“Lys? What on earth are you doing?” Emma whisper yelled.

“Come down!” Alyssa smiled, feeling comforted by the disbelieving smile on Emma’s face. 

“You are something else, Greene.” Emma shook her head fondly, trying to repress a giggle. “Come through to the garden, I’ll let you in. I’d say you must be freezing but I see you’ve got a nice hoodie to keep you warm.”

“You sure it’s okay? What about your grandmother?” Alyssa asked.

“She’s at bingo.” When Alyssa quirked an eyebrow, clearly amused, Emma continued with a laugh. “Don’t tell anyone but she loves bingo. Well, she mostly loves cheating at bingo to piss people off.”

The two laughed. “Alright, don’t keep me waiting, Nolan!” Alyssa teased, starting to make her way over to the door once Emma disappeared from sight. Alyssa nervously shuffled on the spot until Emma opened the door.

“Hi, Lyssa.” Emma greeted affectionately, stepping back to let Alyssa in, humming in approval as Alyssa quickly pecked her cheek. Taking her hand, the two walked upstairs, Emma laughing as Alyssa lingered in her bedroom doorway. “Sit down, you dork.” Alyssa complied, eyes focused on her fidgeting hands. “Are you alright?”

“Can we talk about yesterday?” Alyssa looked at Emma, who seemed concerned and somewhat anxious herself once Alyssa mentioned the events of the night before. 

“Alyssa, I- “Stopping herself, Emma took a breath. “Okay.”

“Yeah?” 

“It’s only fair. I’ve said my piece.” She concurred. Squeezing her hand as thanks, Alyssa took a moment before talking.

“I’ll be honest, Em. Yesterday really upset me.” Guilt flashed across Emma’s face. “It wasn’t entirely because you don’t wanna go to prom, don’t worry. While I’d love to go with you, I get why you don’t want to go.” Emma nodded though she stayed silent, waiting for Alyssa to continue. “I was upset because you’re trying to make this decision for me.” Emma started to protest but Alyssa didn’t stop. “Emma, you tell me so often that coming out is something I get to decide, no one else. So why are you trying to stop me?”

“Because you don’t know what your mother will do, Lys! You don’t need to put yourself in a possibly bad situation for no reason!”

“I have a reason.” Alyssa stated.

“Yeah?” Emma prompted, incredulous. “What’s your reason?”

“You.” 

“Alyssa…” A small gasp escaped Emma as Alyssa produced Betsy’s ring and knelt in front of her. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby, what are you doing?”

“Emma, this is not a ‘right now’, don’t worry.” Alyssa laughed. “But,” She started again. “If you want it to be, it’s a ‘one day’.”

“Lys.” Emma whispered shakily. 

“Emma Nolan, you mean the world to me. Not a day goes by that I don’t wonder what I did to deserve someone as kind and loving and smart and beautiful as you.” Alyssa couldn’t help the smile that broke out across her face when Emma beamed at her, cheeks reddening and so much adoration in her eyes that Alyssa thought she might melt into a puddle right there. “Emma, I know that coming out is risky, especially here, but that doesn’t matter to me. You matter to me.” Emma’s eyes began to glisten and Alyssa felt her own tears starting to form but she continued on. “I would rather spend one final day loving you than have to spend a lifetime without. You are everything, Emma Nolan. My heart was made to love you and you alone and I want everyone to know that.” She lifted the ring, watching as a grin split across Emma’s face. “I know we’re young and I know this might be irresponsible but loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done and I never want to stop. If you let me, I will spend the rest of my life doing it.” Alyssa took a shaky breath. “So?” 

Barely a moment had passed before Emma, who was rendered speechless, had pulled Alyssa towards her, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss to try and convey all of her feelings. It wasn’t flawless, the two girls unable to stop themselves from smiling, but that didn’t make it any less perfect to either of them.

“Is that a yes?” Alyssa asked, the two laughing as Emma nodded. Alyssa slipped the ring onto her finger, both of their hands shaking. 

“You sure you aren’t proposing yet, Greene?” Emma joked, though tears trailed down her cheeks.

Alyssa tucked Emma’s hair behind her ear before kissing her once more. "One day, Nolan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for reading this fic and commenting and leaving kudos! <3333 i feel oddly sad that it's over but i will for SURE be writing more


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